Having recently been reminded of the joys of google vanity searching by this fine piece, I decided it was time to check if my cyber-fame has increased. Strangely (very strangely) enough, it has. In fact, I found that I exist in ways that I never knew about.
Now anyone who reads this post no doubt will think, “Adriana, how vain you are. No doubt that site is meant to relate to some other person who shares your name.” While I cannot rule that out as a possibility, I think it unlikely. Although I have never met in person any of the people mentioned on this site, a couple of them are not total strangers to me. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps there is some other “Adriana Siddle” who is entangled in the same circles as I....
Anyway, assuming this is me, and as flattered as I am, there are two things that I am somewhat disturbed by.
Firstly, there is an ominous little note under my name: “This topic awaits. No-one has written it yet. You are its poet.” I am a topic that awaits? I do not entirely exist? I am but a mere shell of an URL - a cyber-void - only one step away from an URL-for-sale, covered in google ads. I am nothing. I have found myself, only to discover that I have no content, no meaning, no life.
Which brings me to point two. I have no control over my own destiny. By which I mean, I do not know the password to be able to edit myself. This cyber-self of mine will be determined by forces absolutely beyond my control, and I am powerless to resist. I am not free. I cannot even choose to create myself if I want to. This cyber-zygote of me has come into being, but not progressed, and I, the real me, cannot assist it. We both are at the mercy of its Creator.
Who knows how long I will last. Who knows how long I have existed. Heavens, I might be deleted tomorrow, or exist in my undeveloped state for years to come. Over all, however, I am grateful that I have been united with this little snippet of me which I otherwise never would have known.
On the bright side, perhaps I will be written. I guess I now at least have the potential to one day flower into a beautiful website.