What is more fun that Coles on a Thursday evening? Nothing, when you find treasure in the discount bin.
Oh, yes,I struck oil when I found vibrating condoms for just $1.99!!!
“Why would no one else want this?” I pondered. And despite the fact I do not quite know how such a device works, and there is, sadly, zero to no chance of me using such a thing any time soon, I decided to take the plunge and make the purchase. This was mostly due to my desire to face my irrational fear of purchasing condoms, a job that I have been able to delegate quite successfully for the most part.
When it came to the point of the checkout there were two queues. The first led to a regular looking 17ish year old girl and the second a pimply 15ish year old boy. For maximum embarrassment I had to go with the latter. Unfortunately the choice was out of my hands as a new register was opened where the person serving was a very normal, unshockable-looking checkout chick. Incidentally, her name was Christy.
And she certainly had a sense of humour, leaving the vibrating condom packet lingering until it was the very last item to be taken from my basket. This would not have been quite so effective had I not been lucky enough to have been followed in line by a religious zealot. He happily engaged Christy in conversation about the likeness of her name to the name of Our Lord. There is no way he could have missed the very deliberate scanning of the last item by my friend Christy.
The only way I could have perhaps enhanced this experience for myself would be to have included a large cucumber or carrot in my shopping. Maybe next time.